Author: Xana McCauley

Beanies

When did I start?

I’m not sure – perhaps in 2016, or was it earlier?

I read a Facebook post of a terminally ill man who had been homeless for many years. There was a picture of him sitting up in the hospital bed, on oxygen, knitting beanies. He spoke of the cold on the streets and was using his last months to give something comforting to someone.

I couldn’t look away. I have committed to making and donating 100 beanies by July each year.

Before Alan and I started Hands of Compassion, we visited a shelter in Saratoga Avenue, Hillbrow. From there, we walked around two nearby parks. Some people were still sleeping under benches, hoping for shelter from the harshness of Johannesburg’s bitter winter nights with its frost; they would be touched and asked if they were ok. It was a daily checkup; we were told that people die in the parks every year from the cold. It was the hard reality of our city; it was a hard reality for a 25-year-old. These visits and experiences (one of many) laid the foundation for our social justice work at Rhema.

What do I do with the beanies?

I used to distribute them at Hands of Compassion every year.

Lately, I give them away to car park attendants, to the security and garden staff at the estate I’m in now, to the homeless people directing the traffic when the robots aren’t working, and I have sent some to Pretty Khowane at Hands of Compassion.

This year I joined Knit and Natter Bryanston. The wonderful Sarah Welten-Blake brings wool donations for us to knit, and she then distributes our work: beanies, blankets, scarves, mittens, baby everythings. It’s truly a work of love.

How many?

So far this year, I’m on beanie number 34.

I’ve also knitted 5 scarves (a bit boring for me).

Last year, I made 20cm x 20cm squares for Jennica from WAC (We Are Church), who puts them all together and makes beautiful blankets.

When do I do it?

At night only.

I cannot just watch TV, not even soccer. I need to do something else. It’s generally my Ballpoint Pen art (in summer) or knitting and crochet (in winter).

I hope this inspires you

Make something warm for someone who needs it this winter.

Taking a page from Mother Teresa’s book: if you can’t make 100 make 1.

Pattern

I’ve developed a simpler – better – faster (my HOC staff will be laughing) beanie pattern for 2026

Chunky wool
6mm knitting needles

Cast on 80 stitches
Knit 2 Purl 2 (every row; it forms a comfortable ribbing pattern) – until it measures 28cms in length.
Quick decrease:
With right-side facing – Knit 2 together to the end. Turn.
Next row – Purl 2. Turn.
Repeat these 2 rows until 5 stitches remain.
Thread yarn through the last stitches and tighten.
Sew sides together.

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The Samaritan Woman (John 4:5-42)

Today’s gospel reading is from the book of John 4:5-42. Today is also International Women’s Day.

What a day to preach on the encounter of Jesus and the woman at the well – probably my favourite gospel story!

International Women’s Day invites us to honour the contributions of women to the world, and to renew our commitment to justice and equality.

I hope you have noticed that history tries very hard to erase women.  Their names simply ‘disappear’! More often than we know, their contributions have been attributed to men. Not to speak of the uncovering in recent years of their work, scientific research, art and writings, having been outright stolen from them by men.  Perhaps you could start by googling Mileva Marić. She was Albert Einstein’s 1st wife. Have a look at her contribution to science and the impact she had on his success.

In the history of the church, one woman after another has been diminished, and in time, they disappear or are forgotten. For example, are you able to name some of Jesus’ women disciples?  Or, have you heard of Anne Graham Lotz? She’s Billy Graham’s daughter. She’s an evangelist, has authored 11 books, written many bible study resources, and devotionals. Her heartbreaking story can be found in her book, My Heart’s Cry.

I read of a Canadian author trying to find her family roots; she began with a family tree; after the third or fourth generation of her ancestors, she could only complete half the tree! The women were missing.

Earlier this year, I was privileged to have witnessed in person the USA Buddhist monks’ Walk for Peace. I had been following them on social media since Nov and continued to do so upon my return to SA. Do you know their rescue dog also walked with them?  The dog’s name is Aloka. But there was someone else who walked those 2,300 miles (3,700 kms) from Texas to Washington as well: their organizer. The media spoke of this ‘unsung hero of the journey’; this ‘quiet, unseen sacrifice’. The one that organized everything, police communication, protocols, route planning, stops, meals, resting locations, community scheduling, media contact, crisis responses, medical and even vet checkups for Aloka the dog. The organizer was a woman. Jennifer – just Jennifer! The woman, who, according to the article, ‘without her, the road would have ended before it began,’ was just Jennifer; no surname, like Aloka the dog. Who is Jennifer? I eventually managed to find her name: she is JENNIFER NGOC PHAN.

Today, on International Women’s Day, I’d like to remind us that it’s not just about History, or his-story, but it’s also about her-story, and their-story.

After today’s reading of John 4, I ask who is this unnamed woman at the well that Jesus begins a conversation with?

Let us be clear: Jesus initiates the conversation, not her. And … not only a conversation, but a deep theological conversation. And … the longest one-on-one conversation recorded in the Bible. And … a conversation where Jesus reveals himself as the Messiah for the very first time, way before Peter answered Jesus’s question, ‘Who do you say I am? And … this conversation leads this woman to become the first evangelist of our faith.

Let us look at this text from 3 different perspectives. 1) First, we read the text itself in our Bibles. 2) Then look at the world behind the text, i.e. what was the context at the time it was written; and how would the original hearers of this story understand it. 3) And finally, we look at the world in front of the text, i.e. our context today; how is it relevant to us?

We have just read the text.     

Let us look at what is behind the text  

Many of us were taught that she was problematic. She has been portrayed as erotic, sexually promiscuous, and as an adulterer. This nameless woman at the well has been degraded for centuries by mainly male theologians, but also a few female ones, too. Why? Not once do our scriptures say anything of the sort.

Here are a few things to reflect on.

She was a Samaritan. The Jews looked down upon Samaritans because they opposed their religious beliefs; actually, Jews would rather take the longer route around Samaria to avoid meeting or interacting with their people altogether. Jesus was a Jew, a Rabbi, a teacher; he knew the rules. But he chose to go through Samaria in the face of these deep social and religious divisions.

She was a woman. This meant that she was a 2nd rated citizen, of limited value, with hardly any rights, completely dependent on a man (her father, husband, brother, uncle, partner). Women were forbidden from being educated and had no economic or financial agency. They were viewed with suspicion. In some regions they were not allowed to speak in public with a man, which meant they were not allowed to respond to their questions and were most definitely not allowed to ask questions. They were publicly muted.

She was of ‘ill reputation’. She had had 5 husbands and presently was not married to the 6th man she was living with. Was this her fault? Consider the possibilities: 1) Her husbands could have died. Young women were often married off by their families to older men who were more financially stable. 2) She could have been passed around through the laws of levirate marriage, in which, if the husband died, his brother had to marry the widow to take care of her. 3) She could have been divorced once or twice, especially if she was barren. Let me highlight that in those times, the power of divorce rested in the hands of the husband, who could divorce for just about any reason under the sun. 4) She could have been a concubine of the man she was now living with, which was quite acceptable at the time. Whatever the reasons, we blame, shame and judge her without knowing anything about her ex’s. What about them? We also seem to forget that Jesus was not bothered by and did not question her morality. So why are we? Jesus did not label her a ‘sinful’ woman, nor tell her to ‘sin no more’. He does not shame her but engages her with dignity and seriousness. I think Jesus knew that her position reflected structural injustice, not moral failure.

To make 100% sure we get it, the church has also taught us that she must have had that ‘reputation’ because she was not drawing water from the well with the other women in the morning, to avoid their gossip. Gossip! … another stereotypical idea attributed to women (something we need to dismantle.) The truth of the matter is that we do not know why this woman was drawing water in the afternoon. Perhaps she was helping a neighbour with small children or needed more water to finish her tasks. We are not told. The bible doesn’t say. What we do know is that she was an inquisitive religious seeker, and she seemed to know enough. We know that Jesus engaged her in a lengthy theological conversation, something rabies would do, but only with males.  It also seems to me that she was respected and trusted, perhaps even admired by her community.  Her people listened and believed her testimony, which suggests that she was not a shunned sinner.

Let us look at what is in front of the text

How does this story speak to us today? And how does it help us live our lives as followers of Jesus?

Jesus cut through religious boundaries.

As I mentioned before, Jesus chose to walk through Samaria instead of going around it and made a point of talking to someone from a different faith, considered ungodly; a faith that worshipped false gods. Today, this could apply to islamophobia and our judgments of other religions. Are we willing to be more inclusive of those of other faiths? Are we willing to listen respectfully and learn from them? Here, we have an example of Jesus engaging respectfully with a woman from a different faith, a faith rejected by Jews.

Jesus cut through gender boundaries and social divides.

Jesus initiated a conversation with a woman! A Samaritan woman! He spoke to her openly, despite cultural prohibitions. He listened and believed her story. He took the time. He took her seriously; he honoured and respected her. He answered her questions directly, without prejudice or disdain. And he wasn’t intimidated by her questions, her past, or her social standing.

In a world where women’s voices were, and are still, silenced and questioned, Jesus chose to affirm her. This moment reminds us that the heart of God beats for inclusion. It’s worth noting that this woman, found in the margins of society, represents queer and gender-diverse peoples. Black feminist theologians teach us that she represents the intersection of race, gender, and social marginalisation. So, right there, Jesus is pointing us to a new way of being with one another, with community; a way of respect, love, and welcoming. Our world is full of sexist jokes, the minimisation of women’s voices, interruptions, mansplainings, transphobic, homophobic, racist and xenophobic insulting comments and attitudes. At this point, we need to pause and ask ourselves: are we interrupting disrespectful conversations? And are we starting new Jesus-like ones?

One of the best parts of this story for me is that the Samaritan woman’s voice is central to the passage. She questions, she listens, she shares her testimony. She is fierce; she is not intimidated by this Jewish man, nor by her cultural norms and expectations, nor by their prejudices and social divides. Her courage is inspiring. She engages Jesus at his level, head on, and without feeling inferior. They hold a sustained debate about worship, messianic identity and truth. The result? The woman moves from a conversation partner to an agent of change, carrying the good news to her community. She becomes a model of leadership for those whose voices have been denied in the church. So, Yes! The nameless Samaritan woman at the well becomes the 1st evangelist.

Wil Gafney, a theologian, says that ‘Her story exemplifies how Scripture, when read carefully and justly, restores women’s authority rather than erasing it.’ And of course, this applies to everyone and anyone living a life on the ‘outside’. Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman exposes people’s pain of exclusion. But when these barriers are broken down, we witness leadership and transformation. Friends, God calls us to life, truth, growth and unity. We can be sure that God’s Spirit is already at work within marginalized lives, because God’s liberating presence is revealed precisely among those pushed to the margins by intersecting systems of exclusion.

Lastly, did you notice? In verse 28 of John chapter 4, the woman left her water jar behind. This old jar symbolises her old, sad and oppressive life. She leaves the jar at the well and steps forward as a leader, taking with her living water, God’s presence made alive in her, and bringing many to faith.

Before I go, I want to tell you that I found the name of the Samaritan woman at the well. Her name is Photina. In the Eastern Orthodox Church, she’s well known as St Photina, an evangelist and martyr.

Let us pray. Loving God, help us to remember that in a world that draws lines between peoples and genders, Jesus stepped across every boundary. Reveal to us your heart, a heart that knows no division and welcomes all into divine fellowship. May we seek the Spirit’s guidance to embody justice, compassion, and hope in our daily lives. May we, like the Samaritan woman, leave behind what no longer serves us, and step forward empowered by living water, ready to proclaim the Good News in word and deed. And may we go from here today, as a community shaped by the Holy Spirit, to build a world where God’s justice and love reign for all. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

(from my preaching today at WAC)
Pic: AI-generated
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Anger

For many years I have noticed that anger frightens Christians with a special place reserved for women’s anger. From ‘angry black women’ to ‘emotional and irrational women’ there is a consistent negative tag attached to it.

7 years ago I chose to research anger for my Master’s thesis; but alas it was turned down; my supervisor said it was ‘inappropriate’. I changed the topic and my proposal was readily accepted. A theologian from The Circle https://circle.org.za/ cautioned me that researching a topic that didn’t resonate with me was unsustainable; she was right.

Speaking to a friend she pointed out the biblical prophets were angry, Jesus got angry and so did Paul.

On an old piece of paper, I still have St Augustine’s quote stuck to my office cupboard door:

“Hope has two beautiful daughters.

Their names are Anger and Courage.

Anger at the way things are and

Courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.”

 

On Friday night I attended a CAC (Center for Action and Contemplation) webinar hosted by Brian McLaren and Richard Rohr. The topic? – What Do I Do with My Anger?

Here are some of my notes: (to be clear: the anger discussed specifically excluded destructive and malicious anger.)

 

Valarie Kaur (activist and author) purposefully uses the word  ‘rage’ (not anger) in her books; she explained that rage is a fierce form of anger and an embodiment of outrage; it is only when we process rage in safe containers that we can return to love and compassion.

 

Richard Rohr encouraged us to hold the paradox of Divine Anger and My Anger and let them inform one another; he highlighted that anger is a sense that something is wrong, in our lives, in our culture, in the world, and that in anger there is a deep sense of sadness. Rohr points to a pattern we can find when reading the prophets of the Bible: rage moves to sadness, and then to forgiveness i.e. love and compassion.

 

Brian McLaren pointed out that anger helps us speak truth to power and create solutions on how to bring restoration and a better tomorrow.

 

Carmen A Butcher (lecturer at Berkeley University) offered practical ways to cope with anger such as taking a break from social media which scatters, triggers and agitates us 24/7, go a for a walk, appreciate nature; check-in with yourself and practice mindfulness; always remember to love yourself and God, and then go out and love the enemy. Butcher reminded us that anger must be constructive and … it is always painful.

 

Richard Rohr’s book The Tears of Things is out. Here’s the trailer https://thetearsofthings.com/#trailer

 

 

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WHOLEHEARTED – a mother’s commitment

I have just finished reading Nishani Ford’s book: WHOLEHEARTED – An offering of hope and healing for those who love someone struggling with addiction. Here is the story of a single mother, with two sons; the eldest became addicted to substances at a very young age.

I attended the book launch at Gracepoint Church and was moved by the sincerity, tenacity and unconditional love spoken freely. Having been involved in a 6-month live-in recovery programme at Hands of Compassion, I have been privileged to have been trusted with first-hand accounts of heartbreak, anger, despair, and disappointment; to hear from families and friends holding on to a thin thread of hope, ‘pastor, do you think they will make it this time?’ And I have been privileged to have been trusted with first-hand accounts of deep regret, loss, shame, and confusion; to hear from those struggling with substance abuse with no strength left to hope, ‘pastor, I’m trying so hard to stay clean; do you think I can?’

I have celebrated and I have wept; I have weakened and wondered if what I dedicated my life to was worth it; and I have stood strong to defend and bring hope. Through many testimonies of success, I managed to stay the course, and to this day continue receiving messages of gratitude, messages from those still struggling but still in the race requesting prayers, and from families who have lost loved ones who reach out for a word of comfort.

I share a poem by Nishani, from her book, with you here (with her permission). This poem was the Winner of the AVBOB Poetry Award and a part of the Hope and Healing Library of South Africa.

 

BOY IN THE BACK SEAT

There is a boy [in] the back seat

Quiet and anxious

He shares his mother’s fears

Will we find him?

 

Driving hours on end

This boy has no playtime

No friends to contend

Instead, his life is wasting away

The boy in the back seat

Looking out for the shape of his brother’s cap

Under bridges

Along the road

Can we see him?

 

It’s late now and his childlike eyes begin to tire

He knows his mother won’t go home

Not yet

Not until she has him

 

He curls up

Anxious

Scared

Alone

And sleep takes him away into a darkness

A nightmare comes true

For him there is no escape

 

When will she look back, he wonders

When will she notice

I am waiting for my mother’s holy love

She is spread so thin – I must be patient

 

I too am waiting to live

Beyond this addiction crippled family

I too am waiting to live – I too am alive

 

Friends, I encourage you to get WHOLEHEARTED, whether you have travelled this road, seen others on it or not; pastors and church leaders, we cannot look away; we must be the support and the community that offer hope and the gift of time.

Get inspired. Get the book here https://nishaniford.com/

 

 

 

 

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